Now then, this opportunity is irresistible. The honest truth of it is that all of us have issues with God and if we were free to do so we’d all straighten Him out, you know, helping out the ole boy.
The first thing I’d straighten Him out on would be in the creation of our backs. Come on, now. God created a top-heavy torso and placed it on a spine and backbone that pivots on a weak suspension system. I’d strength that up.
One way or another I’d also lengthen the weekends. Presently two days are not enough. I want perhaps as many as 4 days for a weekend. I realize God would have to change all the planets in the universe to do this, but after all: He’s God and can do that easily.
I think while we’re at it we could make headaches a thing of the past as God could wipe those out. Cancer should also be out of there as it’s not necessary.
Kids and old age are also getting to be a pain in the butt so we might want to consider getting rid of those as well.
Some places are way too, too hot and others…well, just too cold. God could cover that one for us and make earth a friendlier environment.
So then, after all the suggestions I’m sure God would appreciate all our constructive criticism. After all, being God is a most difficult job and I’m sure He can use all the help He can get.
And as silly as all my suggestions are, I’m also sure that all of you have come up with your own from time to time and during our trying moments really believe we could help God out.
In the meanwhile and after careful consideration we’d probably also all agree that we had better leave the God business to God and keep our opinions to our self. As mess up as the earth appears from time-to-time, I’m sure that God knows what he’s doing and has it all under control.
2 thoughts on “Straightening out God”
Dear TF, God here.
Just to “straighten out” a few more things.
This “mess up” is an eternal banquet (well at least as eternal as your lifetime) except you all seem to have gorged more than you need as evidenced by the need for “diets”. BTW – some need “diets” and others need “poverty relief” – that was never in the design spec either.
As for “backs” LOL – the plan was not for you all to sit in front of computers for 18 hours a day. And then we have weekends … In fact now I come to think of it, none of the stuff you want “straightened” out was ever part of the package. Seems to me you want to be masters of your own destiny until “destiny” doesn’t deliver as you want.
Now THAT was in the plan!
Happy learning –
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I was just thinking last night as I was popping Aleve that God had messed up the back design thing.
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