When you just don’t want to Live anymore

For some of us, it gets like that.  During times like that, life sucks and it is hard.  Times like that are more than difficult:  they are impossible and during those periods there is a complete lack of joy.

In fact, all one sees during those times is bad.  All that one feels is pain.

For the Christian these are difficult to say the least.  Times can become so painful and overbearing we can get where we simply don’t want to live anymore.

We see life as horrible and our relations and accomplishments as nothing but failures.

These characterizations can be completely real and honest;  yet, once again, the Christian MUST see beyond the immediate or the elements in front of us or the barriers during the present.

For in all the cruelty and badness we are encompassed with, the GOOD is also there. The problem is:  at the moment, one cannot see the good for we are blinded with our own problems and with our own circumstances.

During those times, we need to buy time. During those days when you no longer want to live, one must force them self to see that exiting out of this world is selfish.  More importantly, one must know and realize that the world is not static and no matter how difficult or impossible our circumstances seem at the time, things will change.

No, I won’t lie and say everything will be alright.  They will NOT be alright.  But, what I am saying is that God is Good and life is worth living because of HIM.

And because of Him, there are many other people involved and they too are worth living for.

And so, when life is not worth living and we don’t want to live anymore, we must—–I repeat, we must look at others and climb out of the grief of self.

Once out of self we will see the good and when we see the good we will also see our Lord in the middle of it.  For no matter how bad things truly are:  Christ is there with us.  The important thing is for us to remain with HIM.


When We are WWrongG

As it happens, being human and subject to available facts at the time, we are most often wrong as our judgments and perceptions are only built around whatever data is available to us at the time. This is not exactly a comforting thought as most people like to at least think our thoughts and behaviors are based on a sound and rational system of logic.

Even in interpreting the Bible, we are confined to the best interpretation available and must assign ourselves to distant our thoughts from our preconceived notions and ideas.

Regardless of our intentions, we nonetheless manage to mutilate our efforts as we piece together wisdom from one chapter or one book or another to formulate whatever of organized thought we had in mind.  In other words, we tend to piece together a series of actions to scope the information into one complete organism of action and sequence.  This is profound when we do it with the four synoptic gospels. In reality, we ‘force’ the information to fit our scheme of things and this is a distorted truth that is probably more wrong than correct.

In short, most things in our view with life and likely more wrong than right.  Thus, most of our precepts, our values are engrained with a loose system of faith and presumptions.

And as our perceptions change from day to day and from year to year, we also approach the universe differently than from previous days or ages.  And as we age, most of us believe our previous views were more or less immature or otherwise viewed as wrong.

Because of this, in the past we relied more on a system of elders to balance out the views of the youth.  A more well seasoned individual was supposedly wiser and possessed a knowledge more subject to time.

Today’s generations tend to move away from that concept and rely instead on more ‘instant’ information and thus, I think are subject to even more error than those of the past.

Nonetheless, the result will at least be the same:  we will continue to believe in wrong realities and now will not be checked by the knowledge of our progenitors and elders.

The real shame and crime here is that people will be content in being wrong and in being satisfied that the answers gleaned are sufficient and good enough to strive forward. However, we must remember that our wrongness can never be good enough for the large measure of truth we search for in life and in Scriptures.  In the end, our quest is for the truth and for the peace given as a result.  To all of this, the only answer that is succinct enough is that of our Lord, Jesus.  In him, we ferret out the truth and enjoy the peace given to us by the salvation of His grace.  And in that, He is never wrong.

Will you also go away?

One can almost imagine the pain in Jesus’s voice when asking this most horrifying question to his most loyal of disciples. Of course we all know now, that yes all eventually turned away from him at the cross.

In some ways the disciples were similar to us. It’s not so much that they turned away from him but like us we were never with him to begin with.

Don’t we find the most similar types of circumstances in our life? Are there moments in our life when we struggle with issues, with circumstances, only to discover we are in that episode completely alone? In times like that we have no friends. And desolate predicaments as such we are out there by ourselves.

For all of those who yell hurrah, who avow to be with us always, there are trials in life which contradict the affirmations of our most committed partners in life and in faith. We see this daily in America in divorce, and sickness, and most prevalent in financial calamities.

Jesus experienced this in the ultimate: for Jesus was there in the singular, hanging on the cross in abandonment. Retched with agony, our Savior pivoted in isolation.

So then in our own day-to-day activities, we ask that penetrating question to society to the world and to our friends: when things get tough will they to go away?

Of course the answer is rather simple. Of course, more than likely they will all not only go away but turned against us just as he did our Lord, just as we did our Lord.? And there lies the separation between man and God. God through Jesus, will never cast us aside only to go his own way without us. While this might be with groups, the question falls also on one by one. So then I ask you, will you too go away?

Insomuch you say that you love me, and this is good, you will fail because you were born among men. It is only through Jesus that our imperfections are made whole. Eternity then does not reside with man but is propagated by God. As Christians we should recognize our callow weakness, our failures expressed as sin.

Until that recognition arises we are still trapped in the void and the chasm of darkness. Standing in the gap, is the extension of God’s hand to his son Jesus who is the light. And to that life there is no measurement of man that can stand against his stature. For not only will we go away over and over again, at other times we were never even there.

Discovering the God, the Christ who is alive

Popular among religious folks is to tell people in particular when referring to the masses: to return to God.

All this is good enough however where or how are these people to return to God?

I believe the general consensus on this consists of a two-pronged approach; the first approach obviously entails the person on their knees. And second, is in referring the person to the Scriptures.

The Scriptures however explain it a little differently. With Jesus explaining to the disciples how to pray – – – Jesus is not on his knees, he is standing, his head lifted up toward the heavens. Here we see a relationship between the person and his maker. This is not esoteric, nor essentially intellectual, only a simple relationship that involves father and son. We see consistently where Jesus refers himself and his miracles in reference to the father. Even Jesus’ own existence is an relationship to the father.

The discovery process, the lively process is expressed in terms of relationships. This is true also of the extension of his own body, the church. Christ showed and demonstrated to the world that his father not only existed but loved his creation. And Jesus illustrated this by means of his relationship to people while here on earth.

Hence, witnessing the evidence of God to others – – – showcasing the evidence of God is now performed through his disciples known as his church. God is alive through Jesus. Jesus is alive through his spirit manifested by us. In pointing to God and his realness we should be pointing the fingers to us. For if there is a God, today we as Christians are his evidence.

Think about it. If Jesus is real to the world then his words are also real or else it is a farce. As Jesus said he dwells in us or else he doesn’t. There can be no two ways about this. We are either speaking the truth or else we lie.

In searching for God one should turn to the brethren. His church is his word: his pledge: his legacy: his body: his spirit: his help: his kinship: inheritance and much much more.

If God is alive then he must be discovered through us, the Christian. The truth resides in the manifestation of the evidence. The question is not whether the truth resides in God yet if the truth dwells in the Christian. This separates whether the world will discover God through Jesus.

Christians love Jesus as long as He is dead

Of course, a question would come to mind after reading a title as such as above: why would someone say that about our Lord, Jesus?

And the answer is an easy one and straight to the point: If Jesus were alive he’d be celebrated and obeyed as an active savior and as the Son of God and King that He is.

Jesus himself said that God was the God of the living not of the dead. And thus, if we loved Jesus as if he were alive, we would serve him out of obedience, out of love introducing him to the entire world as a vibrant and powerful Messiah.

The truth though is that we don’t. Most of us point to the sign of the crucifix hanging around our neck. We illuminate the cross where Jesus is hanging, as if this were the present tense and where Jesus had yet conquered death.

For if one conquers death in the present tense and we act accordingly in the present tense of Jesus truth and power and glory. We don’t.

Instead, we lament his death, grieve, petition and pray is if God through his son Jesus were so far away rather than dwelling here inside of us on earth.

Clearly, we love Jesus’s wretched body that hangs eternally on the cross remote and distant from us. Indeed, that is the God of the dead. We should be paying tribute and following Jesus among the living. Yet, where are we going to find Jesus among us?

Among our contemporary churches Jesus is dead to the homeless, to the poor, the drug addicts, the infirmed, the rejected, the outsiders, those who are are outside the social elite, the dejected, the desolate, the hopeless, the suicidal and most any who are searching for Jesus among the brethren.

It is sad but true, we love Jesus as long as he remains dead. And as long as Jesus remains dead, is dead to the world for it is the Christians job to introduce Jesus through our own personalities. The question remains: will Jesus always be dead? Will his congregation always be separate and divided among those of whom we should serve and yet even be part of in the absence of the separate identity? Until that time we will mourn the loss of our Savior as the rest of the world mourns the loss of us and our compassion. Amen

Behold! I Knocked… And A Camper Trailer Opened (Please Pray!)

Knock, Knock Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Fat Beggars School of Prophets

Three days ago (long enough for a Savior to lay in a tomb and the disciples to find it empty) I sent an email/letter to the shepherds of the church knocking on the door.

3 Days.

I have not received a call, a reply, a text, email, personal visit – absolutely no response.

Could it still come?  Could we still get a favorable outcome?


There is nothing stopping a response or favorable outcome except contempt.  And we can pray about that!

If this knock at the door had not been ignored but instead received with ANY sense of urgency, I could have/should have received some kind of reply by now.  Even if it merely said, “We hear you and are talking about it….”.

But before the wagons circled to block me out and shun me several months ago, I received a very angry, wrathful response to a previous effort…

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Jesus as the tree of Life

Remarkably, John the Revelator describes Jesus as a living tree providing life for all in the midst of the new earth. In some ways, we can experience a similar offer in the book of Genesis at the Garden of Eden. The tree of life is the icon, the symbol of eternity, wholesomeness, and the emblem of reward as a result of obedience to the father.

The source of food here is not a literal symbol, yet that which is born of manna, the same as Christ demonstrated he was the bread of life.

Jesus stated: I eat meat which you know nothing about but out of every word of God which proceeds from the mouth of God.

We can also see the tree in this situation as a tree of genealogy. Numerous scriptures in the Bible describes God speaking to trees and as trees speaking to other trees. Even our own modern day version in reference to trees is such whereas we speak of this is our genealogy.

Whereas Adam and Eve rejected God’s word in the garden, henceforth we were all banned and in a way made mortal by virtue of death. Men being man rejected God’s law in the presence of God’s life: the tree.

It really is no different today for we continue to reject God’s law even as we reject his son Jesus. The penalty for rejection is the same today as it was then. Rejection equals death. Acceptance equals the tree of life.

Hence, the nature of man has remained the same since Adam and a consequence of sin also remains. The consequence was death then and death now.

The tree of life then equaled eternity. And Jesus today also equates the tree of life.

Whereas Jesus is our tree of life and in spite of Him we continue to sin.

With these identities we cannot expect anything different than what we see by our own experiences. And this is true either inside the church or outside the church.

And where they should not be it was the same inside the garden of Eden. And it was the same for we were in the same then as we are now. Where Adam was offered the tree of life, we are offered another tree Jesus. In both cases God expects obedience. As far as we know, Adam had but one law to obey and he failed.

The expectation with Jesus is that we no longer fail, that in spite of our flaws we can overcome our imperfections by virtue of his spirit.

So then the question remains… Are we fighting inside the Gates of Eden orare we outside and without… With a flaming sword pushing us away?

Truly this could be determined by how we treat the least of these as expressed in Matthew 25 through 26. For it comes down to a question of who we know and in turn by how we are known.

Jesus exemplified this term by a fig tree. When that figtree failed to produce, it was cursed withered and died.

Where do we stand in our obedience? Where are we in terms of our distance to the tree of life? Are we inside the garden of Eden or simply another voiceless champion silent alongside the road for those who beg for the mercy of God. In the end, I would hope at least that all Christians are gathered together around the tree of life would a report of good news… All holding hands and in one voice, shouting the proclamation of Jesus Christ through the evidence of the works of his church. And there we come to know Jesus as we should inside that garden as we experience each other face-to-face knowing each other through obedience.

“Nothing Personal”

It’s nothing personal that people hate you. In truth, they don’t hate you as a person insomuch that they loathe the fact that you are poor or that you are skinny or fat or possess the wrong ethnicity or carry the wrong surname or that you are ugly or homeless or live in the wrong geographic region or speak the wrong language or many, many other reasons.

It’s nothing personal that they hunt you down and chase you or ban you or imprison you or deject, reject, detest, despise, shun, ostracize, exclude or push you aside. They can’t help it. They simply hate all that you stand for.

For you see, they fear they could be just like you one day and no, they can’t have that. They don’t want to be in your situation.

They wouldn’t know how to deal with poverty or exclusion or disease or from the position of a total lack. Lack is NOT in their vocabulary.

For you see, you just might rub off on them. No, they can’t sit on your furniture for the dirt might penetrate their goodness, might just stain them and others might simply call them ‘you’.

For this is simply the way of people. And whatever they don’t like or understand, they kill. They killed Jesus for the same reasons. People don’t understand goodness, so they killed him. Nothing personal.

It’s just how people are. Thus, when they beat and rob and imprison and maim and invade and confiscate and kill you, take comfort that none of that is personal.

It is just something to do to those who are different: to the odd ones who stick out and don’t belong.

In the end, it is nothing personal, nothing personal at all.

Calling it for What it Is: A Cockroach in the Icing (Hand to Hand with Agent X)

Agent X with the Fat Beggars School of Prophets has been fighting the establishment for a long number of years: decades over the issue of the church taking in the homeless.

To that effect, Agent X has mostly lost the battle with the churches as simply put; all those ‘good’ people don’t want to mingle with all those ‘bad’ people.

In easy terms: the homeless are a group of cockroaches that stream out of the woodwork and do nothing but contaminate the beauty and purity of the church buildings and congregants.

Nobody loves a COCKROACH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as we Christians say we love others and love all and possess the love of Christ: WE DON’T!

Sorry, but I call things the way I see them and we simply haven’t arrived when it comes to intimating the love of God through His son, Jesus.

We make excuses: we appear inept. We are afraid and reticent. We can’t bear to focus on the ugliness of ‘those people’ as we are afraid we could BECOME like ‘them’.

God forbid that we should have to drink a bottle of ‘Old Crow’ or smoke a cigarette butt found on the wayside or eat a discarded Twinkie or mingle with those who smell of drugs, alcohol, stink, urine and grime.

We have become so infused with avarice we are unable to see the Lord humbled with His masses, those outside the church: the dejected.

And in that process we have also put our Christ in the same image: the dreaded, despicable COCKROACH who spoils the entire cake.

After all, who can eat that cake after the musky cockroach has travailed along it’s perimeter? Dirt =people and they are all one and the same if they are outside a particular social class.

They have nits and dirt and bad breath and sores and wounds and toothless and matted hair and bugs and a stench that simply will not rid itself without the agent of bleach.

And that is why Agent X loses His battle which is our battle for we are too comfortable watching God work on:

Touched by an Angel or Highway to Heaven

It is there we can sit back and watch God perform his Hat and the Rabbit tricks that so amuse us with heart warming epics and morals.

Only with those guys,we don’t have to go there.

And in the here and now, where are we: Where do we stand by Agent X or with Tom or with you or me or them or with anyone who has been cast aside?

Let’s just say I won’t hold my breathe if I have to count on the church to pull me through. They are too busy watching it on television.

In the meanwhile while waiting on my earthly salvation: I’ll have to dwell with the rest of the roaches until such time as someone recognizes that Jesus is here, down there with us on the peripherals. He is here alongside with the rest of us roaches.

Thank God for the Gospel of Salvation and for His son, Jesus. I wonder who next will speak for those who are there asking to come into HIS FOLD? My guess, it’ll be simply another cockroach calling in all the others into the Kingdom of God…Who will lead the way?


The Death of Jesus (“A good Day to Die.” Chief Dan George)

Matthew 27:50–53

Aside from the tear in the curtain of the temple at least one of the grand occurrences is the rumbling of the earth and

the opening of tombs whereas the saints arose and then walked the streets of Jerusalem and presented themselves.

This is not much said for such a spectacular demonstration of power: only a few words in illustration of the important event: RESURRECTION.

One could ask the question—did these saints ever die again?      A good question and we are not told the answer. We can guess that they later ascended into Heaven with our Master, but this is only an hypothesis. Obviously, had they hung around, more would have been written about them.

Of course, the news here in the death of Jesus is that Jesus conquered DEATH. 

In the death of Jesus, immediately upon His death and thereafter, the incredible feature is that all we see is LIFE!

And with Jesus’ resurrection and ascension we witness a promise of eternal life and evidence to it therein.

Jesus is life. The death of Jesus is life and the hope and future with all believers is LIFE.

Even today,in the absence of any good news: poverty,disease,death and more---we still possess the inheritance of God’s kingdom through His son, Jesus, the Christ.

The choice is a simple one:  the knowledge and wisdom of this world, or the truth and guarantee of our Lord, Jesus.

This decision should be an easy one: choose LIFE with Jesus.  The value of our souls are the same as with the saints of ancient days.  We too shall walk and give testimony to others now and after death.  For with Jesus there is only one word to describe our mission...and that word is life through Jesus that He gave by virtue of His blood on the Cross at Calvary.

Unless you Repent

In Luke 13:1 and then again in Luke 13:4 we see where two tragedies occurred and life lost.

While Jesus assured us that the people did not die in accordance to their sins, he warned for us all to repent or else it could also happen to us. Most would not see this as a good omen. (If you have any sense)

First, While Jesus was in Jerusalem when the tower of Siloam fell, it looks as if he could have prevented the accident but didn’t. The second is that we can not assume tragedy occurs as a result of God distributing punishment in reference to sin.

Okay. Admit it. Some of this sucks. Of course, we can ask why? We can ask why God does not intervene and save us, when we are his children. This is a very natural question.

Whereas the Galileans came to sacrifice, Pilate choose to demonstrate his wrath and thus, the Galileans died in slaughter. Do we witness some parallels?

Is there a similarity with the inferno of the Twin Towers on 911? How about where Isis decapitates the heads of Christians? There is more, but this should be suffice to gain the message. And the message is:

More important than our life or death is that we regard God first in all things and strive to gain merit for positions in Heaven.

Of course, our life here on earth is important: God said our creation was good. However, even more important are our lives eternally.

Yes, I know this doesn’t help much when we’re suffering. Nor does it assist at all at the lost of a loved one or loved ones.

Yet, out of all of that, we are to trust God as Job trusted God in his times of trials.

Jesus warns us to repent: and what should we repent to?

We should repent to the very word of God that saves us from condemnation into righteousness. And in this process we are to lose our life, figuratively and literally in order to gain one presented by God Himself.

In the meanwhile, all kinds of crap is going to happen and continue to happened. And while this all must take place, we should never lose faith in Jesus or in His Father who sent Him. With Jesus we will live forever.


Mark 3 1-6 My allegorical Reiteration (Fat school of Beggars goes to Bat)

And then Agent X and His followers went to church; yet the powers-to-be were there to test him.

Is it lawful to assist a homeless man on the sabbath?” they asked Agent X.

The question here is NOT the sabbath. The question is the value, the worth of God’s Children on any day.”

And so they wished to boot out Agent X and all his men as he and his followers defiled the desires and wishes of the church.

And then again, Jesus was struggling on the streets of Lubbock with no one to champion His cause. Jesus concluded that all had forsaken Him and His people for the churches cursed His existence. Among the harsh cold streets and whispering of the wind: God’s voice could be heard for the forbearance of His Holy Spirit. In that day even those who walked among the righteous shuttered to think of the wrath in the last days of that building and those who roamed it.

At last, Jesus found His home and it was out and away from the church he founded and loved so much. Once again, He found Himself alone.